time

time (the word, it’s concept, or idea) is the plumbing of existence. it is a mediator between our conscious- our minds and the dynamic of continua.

[verbal analogy] time : continua :: plumbing : water

that is, the idea or word “time” helps us to wrap our minds around the happening of things. of course, all words do this for humans. but i have found that i have a reactionary tendency to try to avoid the word “time” because of people’s heavy associations to limited concepts that the word represents. but- i have to not fight with words. instead i must utilize their inherent limitations as well as known socio-cultural associations/alterations from the established definition(s) (also a kind of limitation).

for me “time” is like plumbing in that most people seem to focus on the plumbing; the device, the tool rather than the source being tendered (along with its range of quality). in this case water: ocean, ice, snow, mist, steam, hail, and waters myriad presence in earth’s aspect.

in recent weeks i have been in rough waters of acceptance or embracing my own quality. it’s not that i don’t like myself or have lack of self-confidence, it’s that i am now severely facing many unchallenged concepts that have dug into me. they are under-the-nose, they are cultural conditionings, social programmings, runaway bio-chemical habits.

my issue with the word and concepts of “time” is one of these unchallenged concepts that has squatted too long in my mind.

in recent endeavours of drawing and animating, i found my reactions to be questioning (even if only subtle levels of the stuff) the amount of time i was either spending or taking, that is i took too little time – meaning i was too hasty and should’ve spent more time in development/refinement. or the other side that says “i took too much time on this little drawing or simple animation” – meaning perhaps i was stuck or distracted or perhaps consumed by certain aspects that i should have moved on from, and with time then come back to to re-explore.

and the thing is is that i know the wisdom behind the situations above. i know what i have to do, and i know the best thing to do, and i know myself and my tendencies and habits (bad or good). but there still remains this thorn of time that instigates my emotion, my chemistry to have this subtle or maybe even not-so-subtle but not so easily detectable reaction. one that can create results of “second guessing” or distraction.

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