walking

i’ve been struggling.  i’ve been stuck.  i’ve been holding back out of fear.  i’ve been blocked.

today something new is happening.  so much has been changing.  a new phase of my life is beginning.  i wasn’t ready for it, but now i think i am.  i didn’t know quite how to say goodbye to what i’m leaving behind, but now i have.

this morning, i was walking along the snowy path in the field near my home, and it was very cold and windy out.  so cold and windy that i had to hold my head down and cover my ears with my hands (even though i was thoroughly bundled up already).  when i did this, and kept walking, i realized that the only way i could make sure i was staying on the path was to look at the footprints on the ground in front of me, of others who had walked on the path before me.  who knew where they were going.

it reminded me of when i was a kid, and i’d go hiking with my dad.  sometimes we’d end up on hikes that were pretty hardcore, and the terrain could be somewhat treacherous.  i wasn’t ever afraid, though.  i knew that as long as i put my feet where my dad had just stepped, that the ground would hold, that i would be safe.

i’m realizing life is like that for me.  a lot of the time i don’t have the answers, and i can’t see the big picture.  i have no idea where i’m going.  but even though the part of me that is afraid would like to be able to control this, i know that i can’t, and i don’t have to.  if i just keep focused on putting my foot in the next place in front of me that is safe and secure, and if i rely on the faith that someone has gone before me and can guide my steps, i know i will be okay.  i know i will reach my destination, whatever it is.

m

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About gabi

i'm a dense configuration of highly combustible particles.
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