i haven’t been writing, and i can feel it.
have i not been writing because i feel ugh? or do i feel ugh because i haven’t been writing? a little of both, i think. it goes both ways.
so i’m sitting here and i’m staring at the screen and i can only think of the things i should be doing that i haven’t been doing because i’ve just been brain dead and procrastinating. at least if i open this window and type some words in, well, then i will have written today, and then today can’t be a complete wash.
not that it will be, anyway, but sometimes i wish my brain and body weren’t so tired that it takes me three hours of sitting doing thinking being nothing in order to feel motivated to actually do something productive, and by then sometimes inertia has hit me full force and i just… yeah. sometimes i just wanna go to bed, then. is this winter approaching? what is this?
i’m tired of inertia. maybe if i get a good night’s sleep and i get one or two or three more of those, and i start doing some of those things that i like to do that make me feel groovy, i can shake it off.
i have so much to do and it’s all scattered around in my brain it’s like a scavenger hunt to track it all down. i need to make a to-do list maybe. that’s probably a really good idea. i used to make them so much and get so obsessive with/about them, that i gave them up for a while. but i’m getting back into a phase of life, in school and all, where i think they are going to come in handy again. getting organized is really going to save my life these next two years, i think. i guess i may as well start now.
i think the days of sitting around letting my brain decompress for a few hours are numbered.
time to go!