ame

waiting.

waiting for rain.

water is a specialty but also- usually reduced to just another element: fire, earth, wind- hmm.
water is no more or less important i suppose. 

but so many things change with the changes of water. oceans, rivers, streams, brooks, ice, snow, sleet, slush, glacier…

whole worlds are created with the changes of water. we’re shaped by it of course.

the molecules of water connect and flow and change, altering their surroundings- altered by their surroundings. 
it seems to happen without much effort, well, if water emotionally articulated “effort.”

back and forth i go about my thoughts about, well everything.  all the time my mind thinks. perhaps it’s why i am so sensitive about those that seem not to think, or savor the thoughts before committing them to action. i’m not necessarily speaking for or against haste, we all think and need to or have to think in relative form. perhaps i’m talking more about reflection and appreciation. hmm.
a relative bracket of thought i have is one of “letting go to grab on to.” 
a way to describe this is with a mural or a scene. it could be a work of human art or just a location on earth that one finds themselves.
observation is always stepping on curiosities heals with me. so i’m asking and wondering lots of stuff all the time. this doesn’t mean i remember lots of details, i just take in lots of intuitive nourishment. what happens is that i see the details in a scene, but i also see the broad panorama as well, and i also see the medium tones and textures. i am also sensitive to beyond the scene itself, which means there is no distinct “scene” because, well, where does one scene end and another begin?  even with a mural there is the context the mural is presented in or displayed within. that means as much to me as the mural itself. nothing has defined borders with me. only relative borders of choice. i have to stop myself from enjoying infinity.

i become- attached (or you could also think of it as “wedded to”) to the instance of a situation, a mural, a scene. i am captivated easily. but if i don’t make a choice to switch my focus then i am at the mercy of the random elements of my own attentions as well as the external influence of my surround. i suppose that’s fine, i live my life this way by default. but i want to wield that with more influence to both give to and receive from my surroundings (which can be as close or distant as you want to consider).

so i realize and take action to alter my focus. i change my perspective and keep in mind to continue to alter my perspective.

with a mural, i can fall for a particular spot inches wide. sometimes i will fall for multiple spots with their various areas – i’ll mix them together like a dj would music samples. i do this all right there while observing the mural. i may find that i like to stand back a little take in the whole mural but where it fills my entire view. or i may want a wider frame of view where i can take in the context the mural is surrounded by.  

experience is all the time. there is no real boundary to one’s self, to life, to “influence.” to- any thing.  i influence my surround influences me.

and so that mural doesn’t have to be a mural; it can be anything. but if it is something more specific like a mural or a place i like to visit, my life is not isolated from that place- that mural.
it is a seamless journey. i am always connected, always changing even when i turn to snow or rain for a time.

for me any particular place or thing or work of art or anything, is already being enjoyed well before i ever am in it’s perceived “presence” and well after i am not so close in proximity.

relative

letting go doesn’t mean oblivion or loss. letting go can be scary or exhilarating  but either way it is life and experience. it’s already happening.

it’s been too long since i stomped some puddles. the massive black holes in my shoes shouldn’t stop me, but they do.

time for new shoes; but until then i’ll wear my emergency pair. or the non-dramatic way to say it: “my spare shoes”

also, there better be snow this year, shucks.

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