how do i get centered-off-center-centered-again?

gan, you talk about waves.  i’ve found a home with wave as metaphor – a way of understanding the dip and crest of my mood-state.  i go for a while in the lows – that place where things don’t quite resonate or fit or make sense or where i tend to give in too easily to despair or fear or whatever else.  and then there are days like today, when i wake up ready to rock the universe.  things that might otherwise frighten or worry me, see me coming and just scoot out of the way.

as i’ve gotten to know myself better over the years, the low tides have worried me less and less, because i know i’ll surge again.  because i know that my being is part of a larger pattern, and that my moods cycle in a rhythm of rise and fall, swell and recede.  i recognize the continuum.  when i reside in this recognition, it’s easier to accept everything as part of that continuous pattern – a connected whole: the weather, the mercurial behavior of my child, relationships, the way money comes and goes from my life, all of it.

some great part of my ability to be present in this state, or to live more readily in the fearless side of the equation, has to do with what happens when i can (and do) to make space for the things that enable me to harmonize with myself.  they’re simple things – and few – but oh so necessary.  when i find myself stuck in a place where i am required (or think i am required) to contort myself, and i forget about what makes me whole, makes me who i am, things don’t go well at all.

on the other hand, when there is freedom for me to do those things, i feel as comfortable with my life and the world all around as a cozy-soft-slouchy-well-worn-cotton shirt.  so super nice and mega relaxing.

why is it so easy to forget me?



About gabi

i'm a dense configuration of highly combustible particles.
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